Poem: Devil in Diapers

New shoes dirty
Ones I saved for cleaner excursions
Cartoon devil’s my unfortunate shirty
Hope I don’t meet a hothead Scripture surgeon

“God is busy,” says the devil craftily
“Can I help you?” he enquires
Such an obvious ruse done masterfully
From the most obvious of liars

Is he next in line
When the Big Boss is on an LOA?
Or is the Almighty tied up in a barn with twine
With heaven and earth gone array?

A red cartoon character in diapers
A pitchfork and pointy tail up behind
Through a rainy windshield with functioning wipers
Wrath at me, the t-shirt wearer, is all but sealed and signed

If neighbours fail to see the humour of a cartoonish Satan
And deem me a blasphemer or Charter of Rights violator
Their rage may challenge the likes of Idol judge hatin’
Or COVID-19’s costliest ventilator

They might grab pitchforks and landscaping tools
And chase me in a mob down the boulevard
They’ll regard me as a terrorist or the worst of ghouls
My ass is their next Zoom cooking class’ lard

The moral of this ditty is so manifestly plain
If you don’t get it, join the next virtual Dr. meet-up
When picking sportswear, gag-damnit, don’t be vain
A 2nd opinion’ll save you and the devil in diapers
From a Holy Ghost beat-up

~ Gunnar Våken